The Battle is Joined

patty_pan_squashWhen I’m feeling muddled or somewhat low, one of the things that reliably helps me find my foundation is going out into the garden and doing some work here and there, or simply checking on how various plants or fruits and vegetables are coming along. The work, the sounds and smells, the surroundings, and the cycles of renewal that are all over the garden are wonderfully uplifting to me.

So imagine how I felt yesterday when, feeling down for one reason or another, I went out into the garden and discovered that the six or seven wonderful tomatoes (of various types) – that I was giving just another day or two to become perfect – had all been taken! They’d vanished. This was probably due to that squirrel or squirrels that has (have) a taste for soft fruit and vegetables that appear in my and some neighbouring gardens. I’ve seen them running along with such fruits in their mouths in the past, and witnessed them picking them also. Furthermore, last week, another glorious tomato had been taken but left in shreds on the ground as it was not ripe yet. Very clear squirrel work. Now taking one every so often is intensely annoying, but all of them? That is beyond the Pale.

This was like a punch to the stomach, at the worst possible time indeed. In the non-existent movie scene of that setting, I had two choices of reaction at that moment. The first was to slump to my knees, arms in the air, throwing my head up to that overhead camera shot and yelling “Noooooooooo!!!!!!”. Corny, and overused in film, but that was how I felt. The second reaction, which quickly won over the first, was more Tex Avery, where I look straight into the camera (eye level) and simply say “Of course, you realize this means War.”

Of course I did neither, and instead (after muttering darkly about what I’d do to any squirrel I found in the garden henceforth) headed West to find the late sun, the beach, and some personal time.

Today, I started early in my plans for the battle, arming myself with a shopping trolley load of items at the hardware store (focusing on anti-squirrel measures but keeping rats in mind too). By lunchtime, I’d started construction. Soon, I’d completed the first key item in the war plan:

tomato_screens

What can I say but: Shields Up! Red Alert!

-cvj

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11 Responses to The Battle is Joined

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  4. Squirrels can actually be quite tasty (rolled in flower & fried is how I’ve had them, courtesy of my hunter & wildlife ecologist friend Clint).
    I also used to put myself back to sleep by thinking about squirrel stew when the little pests used to wake me up before 6am chasing each other on my roof in Oakland. Don’t feel bad about it either, as they are not technically ‘wildlife’ having become all fattened & practically domesticated courtesy of suburban sprawl & amazing gardens such as yours:-)

  5. Pingback: The War Continues… at Asymptotia

  6. kim says:

    I also feel muddled, low and down sometimes in an extreme way and for prolonged periods. What is causing these moods in you would you say?

  7. Sara Tompson says:

    Excellent netting!
    I didn’t know squirrels would eat tomatoes, aargh.
    Would Safer Soap due anything to deter squirrels, I wonder?
    This reminds me, in addition to the Fermilab garden plot tomato-biting deer, the crocus-gnawing-to-the-ground rabbits we had in Champaign. On the worst morning of destruction, I stood in my front yard and shouted YOU TERRIBLE RABBITS!!
    Good luck and hope you get some late blooming fruit Clifford.

  8. Clifford says:

    Yes, I’ve been thinking of a new recipe based on “tomato-fed squirrel”… Should be a hit.

    -cvj

  9. Keitha says:

    How can you make the squirrel(s) disinterested in your tomatoes? Will the fence dissuade him or make him all the more determined to get one of your great tomatoes? What about sunflower seeds on the other side to get him fat and full? And then maybe covering the green fencing with vines so that the “grass is not greener” but with him up against a wall and no where to turn but around.

    Working in a garden can be so restorative. It is always amazing to give something some attention, practically forget about it, and then notice one day it has grown all on its own! It is a nice lesson in maintenance.

    Did you hear the NPR story recently on people eating economically, a diet that in some parts of the country includes squirrel!

    Bon Appetit Clifford!

  10. Nige Cook says:

    Squirrels are vermin. I used to think they were cute until I saw a seemingly very “friendly” grey squirrel on the path in front of me when walking in Castle Park, Colchester, a couple of months ago. I had a camera phone on me so couldn’t resist trying to take a photo of it. Unfortunately there is no zoom, so I had to get very close. Then it suddenly jumped on me and clung on to my nice fresh jeans.

    I laughed and thought how cute and luck I was to have a “wild” animal be so friendly, but when I got rid of it by gently shaking it off, it left muddy footprints on my jeans, which was very annoying. People feed them in the park. I didn’t even get a non-blurred picture because it didn’t stay still for more than a millisecond.

  11. Mary Cole says:

    I completely relate to your feelings about the restorative value of the garden. Pottering around in my garden is vital to my wellbeing! We have to adopt similar measures to protect our produce mainly from the birds who particularly like strawberries. Good luck with your war on sciuridae terror, and I hope you’re feeling better soon!