Yesterday, an interesting thing happened while I was out in my neighbourhood walking my son for a good hour or more (covered, in a stroller – I was hoping he’d get some sleep), visiting various shops, running errands. Before describing it, I offer two bits of background information as (possibly relevant?) context. (1) I am black. (2) I live in a neighbourhood where there are very few people of my skin colour as residents. Ok, here’s the thing:
* * *
I’m approaching two young (mid-to-late teens?) African-American guys, sitting at a bus stop, chatting and laughing good-naturedly. As I begin to pass them, nodding a hello as I push the stroller along, one of them stops me.
Excuse me sir, may we ask you a question?
Of course, what’s up?
We are curious. Are you a father, or a nanny?
I smile at this, and respond.
A father.
Thank you, they say, and I walk on.
* * *
So that’s the interesting thing. I offer it without further comment to make of what you will.
-cvj
Thanks Jennifer! Indeed, as I commented above, I also did not interpret them as having a negative intent, but who knows. I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Cheers, -cvj
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Gut reaction – you, Clifford, are awesome. Just how good and yourself you are. A good example for me, those young men, or anyone else. Just be kind, polite, and yourself. Not doing any meta-anything, responding from core.
Somehow I doubt they were messing with you, and probably were truly curious because of the two facts. But I have no idea because I’m not them and wasn’t there. No matter, somehow I like the interaction, even though I wish that the question would never enter a person’s mind.
David – Indeed! Been a while since I heard that excellent hilarious tale, so happy to be reminded of it! Please thank your wife! Cheers! (and yes, I do get the gardener thing, although nobody asks quite that question… I’ll leave e that for another story another time.)
@ZoochosisCOM Also, thanks!
@ZoochosisCOM Hey there! Maybe. I think they were genuinely wondering what the answer was, and I was happy to answer. #benefitofthedoubt
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I was relating your story to my wife, who thought it bore some resemblance to a story told by Sammy Davis Jr on the Michael Parkinson (chat) show, sometime in the last century. He was mowing the grass outside his house in Beverly Hills, when a car drew up. It’s driver inquired how much Davis was paid for his mowing. He replied “I get paid nothing, but the lady of the house lets me sleep with her”!
I suppose the use of “sir” is not uncommon in the U.S.? In this country (the UK), I think “mate” would be standard in such a situation.
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In neighborhoods with few people of color, there are often a large number of black women nannies. What is odd is that you are male, very few nannies are male; much more likely a father. Perhaps hence the polite question. You remove stereotypes, good for you, Clifford, just be yourself!
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An elegant reply- what more needed to be said? x
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More a tangent than an asymptote?
You might have missed an opportunity to share a colourful life story and impart some sound professional advice. Shame.
This is how you should have reacted:
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fun times!
@asymptotia You, My Friend, were getting fucked with.
Congratulations, btw. I didn’t know you had a son.
🙂
Naddy http://t.co/kCXcZB4WSx via @Asymptotia